my review (2010)

just like the last time, i will review what happened in this year instead of listing down some resolutions that i know i wont complete. these are the things that i remember or at least stuck slightly in my memories. here goes:

January

• spent the new year's eve alone back at home
• started my internship
• met Kun, an office mate and a great friend of mine
• last time i'll ever be able to "enjoy" product design studio

February

• still stuck with my internship
  
• got the annoying guy worked with my during my internship
  
• got a chance to skip work and went to Bandung for 3 days

March

• realized that my internship was actually being paid :D
• lost interest in one friend that was interested in me
• bought my sewing machine
• promised a guy to fuck off forever from his life, and decided my last word for him was "enjoy" (seriously, whenever i met him, i wouldn't even try to say a word. since i'm so committed to my promise)

April

• Watch a movie with boy at PLAZA BLOK M for the first and hopefully the last time
• visa application
• work just as suck as it's always been

May

• Got the worst score from my boss--BC for 5 months internship
• done with the internship, and soooooo happy. i learned a lot from this office, i kinda love it honestly.

June

• Holland
• London
• Paris
• my life's at its peak of luck and happiness. thank You, God.

July

• same old boring birthday as usual
• Singapore with boy without our moms
• Tendy got her bachelor degree at this point (i felt kinda sad at her graduation, the realization of not spending times the way we used to when we were just naive TPBs' kinda sad)

August

• starting point of my final assignment
• it's titled "development of flatpack furniture for small dwelling" (well, somewhere along those line. i just translated it and it sounds weird, but whatever)
• Got the best counselor--at least according to me
• SABINO
• Tendy last month in Bandung
• Met a Dutch guy and made friend with him

September

• first preview went very well
• lebaran holiday was boring as usual
• i watched "boys before flower" for the first time (as my good friend, Boi would say "welcome to the dark age")

October

• Colonized by korean stuff. started off with 비, ended up with 슈퍼 주니어.
• "pesantren" together with Tendy. we lived under the same roof for 10 days "learning" about this 비 religion together.
• pasar seni

November

• second preview was hell.
• lost my 'appetite' for my final project
• down.. down... down...
• Met a Korean guy at Jakarta

December

• started thinking about my health
• gained my spirit back
• gained my confidence back
• get my life back on track

for whatever it's worth

two years passed as time flies, her deepest mind secretly has been having this concern that's been dragging her down. it keeps her away and away from the so called happiness everybody promised her to find. for all she knows, she messed up, she's the mistake, she's the bad guy. one afternoon change her perspectives towards her new found fears. it comforts her in some way to know it wasn't her fault at all. it was them, not her. the realization that finally helped her to swallow the lump that's been stuck in her heart and mind. it probably will help her to move on in the end. for what it's worth, it proved her the warmth is still there if only she knows what to seek and what to cherish. One way to point out that two years of her struggle had been pointless, one huge slap-on-the-face just to figure out that she's still welcomed, she's still loved, she's still adorable, and she's worthy.

dear you, thank you. thank you so much, you made my day, my night and my year. :D

Stories To Get You Through The Night

This book is one of the book that i felt the urge of possessing once i read the title. In here there're some stories from old authors (it's a compilation of short stories). anyway, last night i opened it and read the part of "stories when everything goes wrong" i guess i supposed to take a moral lesson from it. after i read this, i feel like sharing some part that i think appropriate to my real life and some close friends' life lately. here goes..

Let’s not even start on those predictable but useless paths which lead to nowhere. If only I hadn’t smoke at fifteen, if only there hadn’t been that betrayal, if only I hadn’t spent so much time putting up with the insupportable—whyever did I think endurance was a virtue? Didn’t I want to stay alive? If only I hadn’t sipped wine, or drunk water from plastic bottles. If only I hadn’t gone jogging the day Chernobyl exploded. Oh, give it a rest! We live in the world as it is, we all have to breathe its contagious fogs. It’s wrong of them to claim it must somehow be our fault when our health is under attack.

We’re advised to build up an arsenal of elixirs if we want to strengthen our own resistance. We’re told we ought to call in light boxes, amulets, Echinacea drops and oily fish, we should fix on organic free-range grass-fed meat, Japanese green tea and a daily dose of turmeric. And if we’re really serious about protecting ourselves we must avoid dry-cleaners, getting fat, aluminium, insecticides; shun transfat as the devil’s food; forswear polystyrene cups. We’ve got to fight shy of white bread, a sedentary life-style, perfume and anger, if we truly want to save ourselves. And even if we tick off every item on the list there’s absolutely no guarantee that it’ll lengthen our span by a single day.

In my spell we are dreaming our way forward through the year into the green and white of May, and on into the deep green lily-ponds of June. The lushness of June, its new heat and subdued glitter of excitement at duck, its scent and beauty, particularly my Souvenir du Dr. Jamain and the thorny pink Eglantine beside the vegetable patch.

Everyone has their own private walled garden at night where they can prune their troubles and dream change into some sort of shape. That’s what I’m trying to say, a dream can be a transformer, as well as providing a margin or grassy bank where you can rest while the outside world goes on. Active dreaming, which is what I would prescribe, can be a powerful form of enchantment.

You’re not out of the woods yet, that’s clear; but a little while from now I want you to walk out of the woods and into the June garden. Leave the black bats hanging upside down; they’ll stay asleep. While we wait for summer, let’s choose to be patient and hopeful and soon, not really long from now at all, I aim to smile at you and say, Come in the garden, friend of my heart.

Charm for A Friend With A Lump – Helen Simpson

i need to watch this.

and i need to/have to get a life afterwards.

*the father's character squeezed my tears.

happy xmas.

*various sources.

mac.

i love it, it's user friendly and everything

unfortunately, it's not really friendly to me right now. i need autoCad! i need 3dmax!! and i don't have time to learn cinema 4D or solid works. and apparently, not everybody has the installer for autoCad for mac.

bobi... please work with me. pleeeeeaaaseeeeeeee

this explains

*i didn't get the link for its source

My update.

i recently focusing on some stuffs. and they are:

• technical drawing for my final project
• the report for the same shit
• 3D modeling for it as well
• and of course, MOCK -UP

yesterday a "friend" sent me a text message consists of--more or less--this "lit, the final drawing, technical, 3D and so on those supposed to be o n A1 papers right? and how many mock ups DID you made?? 2??" as if she's done with everything and ready to hand out everything to my--our--counselor  next monday. 

i'm not there yet actually. i do a little this and that every day, but don't worry i promised myself i won't make the same mistakes i made on my 2nd preview. this time i'm gonna be ready, not gonna look stupid, won't stuttered and i'll get enough sleep a week before the final preview (sidang). 

5 more weeks!! i think i have enough time to finish it all (trying to keep an optimist thoughts in my head)!!

Square 1

yeah. back to square one. that's the latest news on my final project. this is not a "sad" post, this is a happy post. finally i figured out the best way to straighten that shit. yeayyy~~~ it's true then, you have to let loose and think outside the box and out of order to achieve one good solution.

11 out of 21. that's what happened.

either

i'm in a bad mood or just finally being honest to myself.

i cannot accept that fact. i know i shouldn't be one selfish bitch that only thinks for herself but turned out, it bothers me (i'm human after all). i got nothing left to give or to feel, that's true. i can also accept the fact that life goes on in every one's story. our story has ended and it ended very well, we moved on our own ways and managed to catch up with each other every now and then for old time's sake. but since that day, the day that maybe will change the person you'll become for the next decades, i don't think i may count on you anymore. because that'll be rude. that'll be wrong. that'll be inappropriate.

so good friend, to sum up, i think i'll really gonna miss you. because i figure there'll be no more late night call, no more 'phone a friend', no mojito no more..

i'll try to be happy for you. wish me luck too will you?

without trying

to make it "about me", i just really miss my friends today. Ayu has got a job. Boy decided to stay in Jakarta by the end of the year. Panjang finally moved to Bali for his job.

it's just me and Akbar these days.. and we talked today about how our 'member of the tukang sate shirt' has gone one by one. no more karaoke together, no more ngejus, no morenyampah, no more lula. even if there is, it cannot happen altogether the same time with all of them.

i wish someday, in years to come we can still hang out the way we used to during our campus years. maybe they all grew up and i haven't, but seriously, tonight, i really miss them all.

count down: 8 weeks

until i become one free being who can do anything i want (read: endless holiday until further notice)..

i made a weekly schedule on my wall in order to remind me that the finish line can be counted by my fingers. i got a lot of help lately since i got amazing friends and one amazing counselor. not to forget the "revelation" from "god" in the entertainment department.

now it's time for me to put my game face on and i hope you all will wish me luck, and keep suporting me until i pass the finish line.. there will be "makan-makan" for Boi, Ayu, Babar, Panjang (if he's back from Bali) and Kun in the end if i got a perfect score in this endless-annoying-yet-addictive-game. i promise. i cannot do any of these without them.

my new "to do" calendar

a little "help" from Ayu.. she was hoping these could pump-up my spirits. yeah rite! thanks anyway chinca~~

my counceling book. full of annoying craps.

my desktop. and on going application (video) judge all you want. i don't care. it makes me happy, that's what important.

so... wish me luck.

사 랑 해 요~~

i think

my geographical obsession has changed from West to East.

place-wise. job-wise. type-wise.

well, East really does closer to home. (geographical-wise, manner-wise, culture-wise) and i speak by experience here. i think Asian guys (that'll include Indonesian guys) are more gentle than--frankly speaking--European guys. at least according to all manners applied in this country. AT LEAST Asian guys will make sure i get home safely around 2 a.m instead of just letting me hit home all by myself around midnight. :D

Remember

the earlier post about us meeting a korean guy? yeah, well, on his last day we "guided" him around Jakarta as we know it and exchange all kinds of information and knowledge about indonesia and south korea (with a lot of help from google translate. god bless whoever invented that thing)

*kinda hard to find a decent picture, since his camera can capture 25 frames within seconds and boi moved a lot. really hard to find the decent one.

Tuhan Suka Bercanda #5

He answers all of our prayers:

1. Language Guide.

Ayu said that she found hers in Gramedia and she said there're lot of it left! then i look for it there, and couldn't find any. after that i cursed to myself: "ayu pembohong!! mana!! ga ada sama sekali!" and then BAM!!

i got the much better version of it.

2. Loin Cloth

we went to Museum Gadjah, while we strolled around inside the creepy museum we stopped in front of a display of coin making tools and the ancient money. one of the "money" from Sulawesi displayed there was this 8cm x 15cm piece of cloth.

ayu : is that also the money in the ancient times? what can you do with that piece of cloth anyway? it's too small.

litya : maybe they used that "money" to cover their loins.

a while later. we got the real display of the thing that the elder used as the loin cloth, and it wasn't the money, it's a bit bigger and it has some strings on it (think G-strings then simplify it. you got the idea.)

3. Monas = Pisa

after Museum Gadjah we decided to go to Monumen Nasional that located just around the corner. now for you who's never been there i'll give some explanation of how far we have to walk to get inside. it's almost 500 m (i'm not exaggerating) and in that long and winding road towards the monument itself usually people take pictures (just like when you're in Eiffel tower or so). anyway, when i looked to my left i saw this little girl did the typical kind of pictures where she would put her finger at the very top of the monuments.

litya: no, you do that to eiffel, not monas.
Ayu: pisa tower maybe?
litya: no, with pisa tower you do this (i showed her the gesture of pushing the tower--the one that EVERYBODY does when they're taking pictures in front of pisa tower)

just like that, some guy beside me did that. how to put it in the correct grammar? let me try: "while i was saying those stupid things, the guy on my right did the exact thing i said" there it is. and i was pretty embarrassed about it, thank God he didn't make any eye-contact with me.

4. Anneyongseyo!

turned out Monas was closed because we got there 30 minutes late. we were disappointed with that fact and finally decided to go to GI to get some cold-sweet dessert. on our way out (the 500m long and winding road) we're chatting about how it would be great if we suddenly meet 5 korean guys (read: suju) and we can take the whenever we want because they have nooo idea about anything in this city. we were also chatting about how ayu will immediately ask siwon to marry her* (since siwon's a gentleman and he cannot say no and wont be able to bear the thoughts of letting a woman's feeling down) and while we were thinking about what's the hanggul for 'will you marry me' we stepped out of the gates and suddenly:

stanger : Anneyongseyo.
us : ???? (i'm pretty sure the three of us think the same: what the fuck?! are we in some kind of weird indonesian show?)
stanger : hallo, are you from here?
litya : (try to get rid the thoughts earlier) yes.
boy : (whispered to ayu) shit. our prayer got answered.
stranger : do you know where Plaza Indonesia is?

the rest of the story was we took him to Plaza Indonesia since we were going the same way anyway. i have to admit that Korean english are--sorry--quite bad. but we managed to chat anyway. his name is HanBo, he's in Jakarta for 4 days only.

my point is, out of all tourists that scatter in jakarta--and usually Japanese tourists are the most Asian seen in this country--we got the Korean! right after we were talking about 'the accidental meeting with 5 '"korean guys" will be fun'

5. Will you marry me?

on point 4, i said about ayu that wondered what's the haggul for "will you marry me" and we were planning on seaching in google translate once we got to boy's house.

but nooo..

ayu bought this self-help book in learning Korean. out of all the lesson of "hello" "good morning" "good afternoon" and all the greetings, one weird question popped out. yes, it was "will you marry me?"

now ayu knew exactly what to ask when she meet Siwon: 저와 결혼할 것이다 (Jeorang Gyeoronhae Juseyo)

6. out of all conversation

and in the exact same book, i found a conversation on how AYU and SIWON actually met each other. yes, out of all names, AYU and SIWON arranged together in the same conversation.

we know AYU is a common name in Indonesia, and maybe SIWON also a common name in Korea, but the two common names being put together? now that's weird.

can't wait

for the next Friday! to share our "treasure" yeayyyyy~~~ i miss those girls..

anyway, turned out i've been in Jakarta only for 4 days. it's amazing how it feels like a week already. crap!

sorry that

i loved you out of responsibility only. but you really get into my nerves. they don’t deserve ANYTHING you did to them. she deserves to get the best out of you, you disrespectful bastard! i knew that i’ve never shared my time to get to know you, but come on, who the fuck are you?! even the realization of the fact we share the same DNA makes me sick.

i used to envy you, i used to compare myself to you. how you used to be the golden and i’m the rubbish who can only ‘draw’. i used to hate all those thropies you brought home, i used to hate all those stories of how great you were as a kid, but i loved you then.

now?

i hate you. there i said it. and i don’t say it a lot.

i just want to punch you to the wall or any kind of hard object in the hope of cracking your head so that i can see what’s inside of it! to see the main cause that turned you into this fucking-immature-unstable-pervert-disrespectful-unthankful-impolite-bastard.

sudenlly i remembered

why i like staying in Bandung waaay longer than home

why i stop calling my house once a week and just call when i feel like calling.

why a house is a home when i'm away from it.

shouldn't share stuff like this here,sorry.

12 hours before "preview 2"

this is the condition of my lovely room. i took the picture this morning when i woke up, it's getting worse as i make this post. 

"i'm not good, i'm great! but i'm not the best"

that's some principle that i share with a very close friend of mine. he and i agreed that we must see ourselves as great beings, therefore our minds will put our bodies and brains to think that way and the output of course 90% satisfying. why we're not the best? because when we put ourselves in that first place, that's the exact moment we'll fall. we need to be the second best to know what we're aiming for. (we'll something along those lines)

today i had a meeting (final meeting before my second preview) with my counselor. i only have around 48 hours to finish everything he asked me to do--which is kinda impossible, he asked me to make a 1:1 mock up. i second doubt myself at this moment, but something deep inside of me knows that i can pull this off! i must! i cannot let him down. he's the one that rarely gives people compliment for what they've done, but when you're good, he'll text you and says "that was great! next time do it even better okay!" and that honestly really pump my spirit to get this final project of mine a great result.

i know i'm just blabbing at this moment because i'm panicking. i just need some place for this pelampiasan/curhat/sarana labil kala TA.

good night. wish me luck, please. it's next Monday.

i might need some help

but i'm too idealistic. honestly there're still a lot of stuffs that still need some extra work. but even if some people offer their help, i cannot accept it. why? i don't trust people. i know they're good with their skills and everything, but at this stage of mock-up experiments i think getting involve in it all by myself is the best thing to do.

and i've hide from the hectic life outside my own room. because if i see a lot of people, i'll be distracted and that's BAD for me.. and if many of you call my cell phone and i refuse to answer, please forgive me. i promise to quit being that bitch after the 2nd of November.

(i created a little "tent" on the corner of my room, just as a mood lifter. aargh!! my room looks like kandang ternak at this moment!)

what happened within 2 weeks

too much. too much. too much.

and not in a good way.

too bad.

i found it hillarious

Mia shared some of her Lonely Planet PDF file with me today, and i look through it. i have to admit, although she gave me literature about Europe and everything else, i'm always curious about my own country in stranger's eyes. so i opened the Indonesia file. while i scrolled down, i read these and i love it.

but the part that i love the most of course "a fantastic set of earplugs for the mosque and traffic wake-up call." and "learning to sleep through he morning call to prayer." that really hit the spot! VERY INDONESIA, a wake-up call by adzan that's being aired five times a day from each and every mosque that placed only 500 meter away from each other that decided to announce their adzan at the same time. (no offense intended, i myself is a moslem. but i still find it shocking every now and then to be woken-up by it)

I called my mom this morning

it's been a while since we last talked, and somehow i'm happy to hear her voice. anyway, she said: "lit, jangan kebanyakan makan mi instan ya.. nanti sakit. katanya ada apanya gitu sekarang mao ditarikin dari peradaran"*

whilst that's exactly what i eat everyday--no kidding. every day! it's either mi goreng, or instant ramyun which pretty much the same. they're cheap (tanggal tua), easy, and tasty. i'm sorry mom, that's all i can afford right now. once i'm done with this fucking assignment and have some time to spare to think about finding a good quality food, i'll do it. i promise.

*lit, don't eat instant noodle too much. you'll get sick. it contains something and now it's being pulled back from public.

to whoever that celebrate their birthday today,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

it's just a phase, when my stress level has gone down i'll get over it. A.S.A.P

Tendy's gone

since we've been living under the same roof for about 10 days, it feels too quiet by myself alone. and since she's gone that means i have to go back to concentrate on my final project. and since this is the only media i have to share about my progress, i'll share here: 0% from the last time i went for counseling. i believe my concept is good--no, great! i have to put some confidence in my head--but i don't know where to start. i don't know which part i should modified, or else.

and another thing. i MUST limit myself from being engaged to "our new religion" because i know once i start i couldn't stop, so i have to control my need of refreshment. damn.

happy birthday cincha.

hope you enjoy your kado and our little "kue ulang taun"

Boi pasti ngiri!!

pasar seni just ended. we tried to get some early sleep but ended up with this:

"Isseulgguhya nuhreul saranghae hamkkehaeyo geudaewa yuhngwuhnhee"

*ga kurang lengkap apa coba informasi di foto itu.