Take me out!!

this panic attack has been bugging me since last night, (i was lucky to get some rest from the attack when we meet this Dutch guy named Ron in Akbar's dorm and he, boy and i went out for padang food) and when we came home, the panic attack stroked again! gah!! make it fast! September 2nd or 3rd (final project 1st preview). please come hurry so that i can get it over with.

* i tried all my calming method already, and nothing worked!
i need a chill pill if that thing ever existed.

Woman intuition

had actually saved me! oooo my god! thank god i didn't snap and came. i should trust this intuition more often i think. 


It worked

i tried to put myself to sleep early last night, and i tried to avoid swallowing any dimenhydrinate by "hypnosis" myself to think about those beautiful things i remember. something that always brings smile to my face whenever i remember it. there're some stuff really, like high school moments, some even junior high, the early college life of mine that was so full of adventure (for me at least). and up to this moment, this thing's still the best memory:

i remember the first time the Eurolines bus landed on the land of the Great Britain. with a sign on the side of the road written "In U.K, drive on the other side of the road" for those EU residences so they'll ride on the left side (which i think wont be a problem for us Indonesian). about an hour later the bus finally arrived in the London area (i don't know which one exactly) and i still could remember thinking "shit! i'm in London!!"

but nothing beats the feeling when i first crossed a bridge and saw the Parliament House on the opposite direction. i remember how goldy it was struck by the sun rise. i remember my dad beside me said. "There it is!! we're in London." what to call a place before tears when you're overwhelmed? that's what i felt.

i wasn't a fan of England 5 years ago, but 2 years ago, since i had nothing to do and browsed anything about Europe and accidentally browsed about London I had this ambition to go there and witness it for myself.

I t was the most wonderful holiday i had with my family (up until now, at least) and i still smile whenever i remember it. here are some photos that i took.

I know i look fat! but i'm in London, and you're not.. :D

Waxed queen's army.

One of the must in my list of "if i ever go to..." If i ever go to London, i'll take a picture of me in front of one of its famous telephone box. well, i did!

Still completing the list i told earlier.

Mr. Holmes. love you as always. it's an honor to visit your house.

Buckingham Palace. met a cute police officer but i wont post his picture here.

Flying the London Eye. the parliament house that always draws a smile on my face.

First day we arrived. still tired from the bus ride yet we couldn't check into our hotel room because it was still
10 a.m
My favorite character of all time. my favorite book. one of my favorite authors. and here i was. Baker Street 221b, London.


No inspiration

to post anything.
usually i post about my stories, my life, or my stupidity but lately i feel like i have none of those. everyday, i wake up make my coffee(yes, not yet fasting) then open Bobi up. type in something, feeling low because i cannot find anything relevant for the shitty project. maybe by noon i'll go outside to find some food or burn some ciggs. try not to pissed anyone near me, but i think that doesn't work (i tend to be hyperactive, hyper-everything when I'm under pressure--yet still denying that it's a pressure--and i know i pissed some friends, sorry about that) and that makes me eager to lock myself in my room and be "emo" about it.

another thing, i want to strangle some betina for their high octave and low tolerance. keep it down bitches! you don't live alone in this place and you're not the center of the universe so stop acting like it. oh, and don't forget to clean your shit.



tomorrow's Tendy's last day in her kosan..


what's wrong with them?

it's no secret i've been longing to live outside this country. not because i loathe it or anything i just need to get out of my comfort zone and try to discover a new place where i can start over fresh. even if i ever get that chance, i promise that i'll be back here. i'll be buried in this land.

i have some friends who are lucky enough to get that chance. it's either they're smart, or their parents live there and half of them didn't want to move out or get out of their comfort zone just because of something they aren't sure will be or will not be their future. (e.g. boy friend, lousy job, marriage that they're not even sure will happen since the spouses haven't pop the question yet). i mean, come on people!! open your eyes. the 'living outside my country' is not binding. it's not forever, you'll be back here. boy friend?? have you heard of long distance relationship? SKYPE?! technology whatsoever. if it doesn't work out then you two aren't meant to be together. get some perspective, please. many people (especially me) want to be in your shoes and you just throw it away.

some of you will say "what do you know Lit? you're single, your life's boring. some people have to maintain a good relationship."

to answer that, YES! i AM single, and my life IS boring. that's true. but when you're single sometimes your eyes are open to any kind of possibilities. you are fierce enough to take risk because you have nothing to lose.

and sometimes, you--all people with chances and spouses--need to listen to these singles. you know they're right when it's about taking chances.


Indonesia's independent day

two of my former office mates came and visited me.

both of them aren't moslem so they did what Jakarta's tourists do whenever they come to Bandung, EAT. And yes, i had to break my commitment from the dawn and decided to come eat with them. (weak faith, i know) long story short, we went to Wale to have some of its famous yamin and on the way there we passed this place called "Warung Kopi" and this place is the point of my story.

i have some emotional connections to that place, honestly. that was the first place i went to together with my fellow TPB SR '06 friends to hang out with. that was also the place when i decided to introduce my first college boy friend to my parents. that is also our favorite spot for 'pacaran'. and that was also the place we went to when we broke up.

it's been a while since i went to Dago Pakar area and it always hit me that way whenever I'm close to that place. although, i really want to have some nice dinners with some of special people in my life. gah! i hate it when my mellow mood strikes!

anyway, thank you Kun and Leon for the visit. i had fun. it's really nice to realize that some office mates can stay connected and hang out for some time. and it's even nicer when i figure out I'm not just some intern that comes and goes.


you know,

that i could use somebody!!


My life cycle:

wake up around 9 -> make a coffee -> clean up the room a bit -> watch whatever the cable offers -> lunch -> watch -> shower ->watch whatever the cable offers -> fall asleep during the watch ->wake up ->dinner -> watch whatever the cable offers -> fall asleep

somebody, take me somewhere, please. i'm bored.