It took me a very long time to access this blogger account again. Why?
First of all, clearly the lack of time I got into blogging. Not that I stopped writing, oh, I still write. Believe me, I wrote 14 finished novels in the past (and some still on going) during my 6 years of absence. In fact, writing has become my therapy in years! But I think all of my energy were channeled through that and I sort of forgotten this place.
My next reason would be because the level of seriousness of my job. The company I work with has an 'unwritten' rules about how the employee should carry themselves on public and social media (especially when we are reflecting the company's values). That's why I became a silent reader on my FB account, I don't actively use my Twitter, and I rarely post on IG unless it's something 'safe' to share. So i really can't rant that much anymore, can't I? But I think, as long as I'm not talking about my work (or the company i work with) here, all will be fine.
The third and the most important reason is... I've been wanting to write in this blog for few years, BUT I'VE FORGOTTEN MY ACCESS! I was so persistent thinking "This is the email I used to sign in! Why can't I access this account?!" well, years gone by and finally I gathered up enough will to actually search for troubleshooting. Turned out, I was wrong the whole time! The email I used for this account was the email that puts a cringe on my face (you know, the email where you mashed up your name and your idol together into the most embarrassing email account? The email you shove under the rug and wish no colleagues of yours would find out?! Hahaha!), but yes, that's the email and i'm glad that i'm able to finally log into this old account.
Honestly, there is one other thing that made me feel like writing again in this blog. This blog was only seen by my friends in college. Most of us don't do blogging anymore but sometimes I still go around their old blog to see if there's any updates or anything. Because of the reason I mentioned, it is safe to say that the traffic to this blog is suuuuper low, and that's why I think I can feel safe using this as a place to think out loud. Because no one will read it and even if someone reads it, there's a chance only my old friends that'd knew my blog.
Lastly, this is my lame way to reach out to those said friends (just in case they still check this account--which i'm 98% sure they're not). I haven't really been in touch with those friends. It's my fault. I was the one that always find it hard to spare my time to meet them, and now i'm paying the price of endless loneliness. If you're my friend and you feel like I abandoned you or neglected you in the past, i'm sorry. I never meant it that way, and i'm sure you never meant to forget me also. Somehow life goes on and we rarely cross path anymore, and I knew I hadn't try my best to reach out, but at the same time I really don't know where to start without making things awkward. So I just want you guys to know that... I wish you all well, and I want you all to know that sometimes--when I feel very lonely--i'd think back to our old days; and the memories always warm my heart like a cup of hot coffee.
