After 2 days of new moon marathon

I should have post this a week ago (I watched it twice, first with my high school buddies and the second time with my 'asdos' friends--i promised both groups to watch it together), but I haven't got much time to do such useless thing.

anyway.. this is new moon.

• started with a scene with "GUE GANTENG BANGET" aura by Edward Cullen.
• here comes Jacob with his biceps.
• then bella asked Edward to "KISS ME" (which i still don't get the reason why she has to lift her right eyebrow that way)
• Edward's gone. stupid Bella slept in the forest. (being rescued by muscles--literally-- a huge man boobs for one whole big screen).
• Bella found a way to "see" Edward, she's an adrenaline junkie now. she has motor bike. she rides the bike. she fell. Jacob came to save her. Her head's bleeding, JACOB TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT TO WIPE HER BLOOD. (i don't know why the director feels like he MUST took the camera angle from below so that Jacob's muscle being exposed. i mean, really, a girl's bleeding and taking off your shirt will definitely solve the problem?!)
• Jacob said he wont hurt Bella, but the next day, he disappear. Bella came to his house, and Jacob said "stay away from me, it's not you, it's me" in the rain to make it look more dramatic (well, has anyone paid that much attention to even realize that Jacob's body was STEAMY?! because he's a werewolf and his body temperature is HOT)
• then Jacob and Bella are friends again. one day, Bella decided to jump off the cliff and Jacob saved her. when Bella was Shivering in the car jacob said "It's 108 degrees here" (which in plain English will be translated "I'm hot")
• Edward thought Bella was dead, and he wants to die too. How? to show himself in public the fact that his body is glittering-shimmering-shiny-menyala-nyala jijik--under the direct sunlight. Bella's running inside a fountain. Edward is taking his shirt off. (and i could actually see his pubic hair!!) Bella crushed her body to Edward's and they live happily ever after.
• Oh, not so happy for Jacob. and he decided to let the happy couple know about it by SUDDENLY SHOWING HIMSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD--like a muscle attack. which, stupid Edward hit the brake so the car stopped (if I were him, i'd ran through the muscles)
• Lastly, Edward said "Marry me Bella" (......?????)
  

What the fuck?!!! I mean did I enjoy the movie? yes. it's comical. but did I think it's good--blockbuster way--NO EFFING WAY!!

Why?!!!

WHY?!!!!!