These last 15 days

i cannot stop starring into my front gate waiting for a guy in an orange motorcycle knocking on it or honk its horn just to let me know its presence to deliver me the mail that has succeeded turn my world upside down. and ever since i lost hope, i tried to beg for my uncle's mercy to re-send me the mail by this air crew... and since friday i've been waiting for his email and turned out, waiting for his email also messed up my days.. and this morning i finally got a relieving reply. how ridiculous that an email can work like a dope of anti-depressant to me nowadays.

i need my parents' blessing and God's. i got the first, i wish the Latter will also give me His. hhhh... please make it easy for us to reach our dream God.. pleaseeeeee.. help us...

and anyway, i opened my "message from God" application today, it said:

Everyone does, including you. A time comes when what you have always believed is true melts away underneath you. When you cast in doubt even the most obvious, the most simple. When it seems that dark night is all around, and you are all alone. Take heart, this journey through abyss is the final barrier before your emergence into the heavenly light of a new synthesis of your being. God is waiting for you on the other side.

OOOOOO dear God, help me..


*update, tonight 21:04. the mail arrived juat 30 minutes after i posted this. THANK YOU SO MUCH, GOD.. thank you... thank you.... thank youuuuuu...